Shrunken head cider for Halloween

Shrunken head cider
Peel some apples, slice them in half and carve a face. Lemon zesters and watermelon ballers work great for carving. Dip the faces in lemon juice and bake at 250 for an hour or so. Float them in your cider and serve trick or treaters. For the parents, add some spiced rum.

15 minute carmelized pork tenderloin

Before my current losing streak, I made this and it turned out very well. I love recipes that call for a handful of something. One less measuring cup to find; one less dish to wash. I think you could skip the heavy cream, too.

Carmelized Pork Tenderloin with Pecans and Apricots
2 tsp brown sugar
1.5 lb pork tenderloin
1 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp butter
handful of pecan halves and pieces
handful of dried apricots
splash of Jack Daniels
1 cup heavy cream

1. Rub the brown sugar all over the pork, then slice crosswise into thick medallions.
2. Melt butter and oil in pan over medium-high heat. Brown the pork 8 minutes, turning once, until golden brown and no longer pink inside. Add the pecans and apricots and cook a few more minutes.
3. Increase the heat to high and add the splash of Jack Daniels. Simmer a few more minutes until smell of alcohol is gone. Reduce heat to medium, stir in cream and simmer a few more minutes.

I served it with Schwan's mashed potatoes.

This is truly fast. I once made a chicken and fig recipe from Rachel Ray's 30 minute meal cookbook and it took an hour and a half. Sorry Rachel, but it's true.

Thanksgiving Stuffing

New England Sausage Apple and Dried Cranberry Stuffing

14 ounces white bread, cut into 3/4-inch cubes (about 12 cups)
1 pound sweet turkey Italian sausages, casings removed
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) butter
6 cups sliced leeks (white and pale green parts only; about 3 large leeks)
1 pound tart green apples, peeled, cored, chopped
2 cups chopped celery with leaves
4 teaspoons poultry seasoning
1 cup dried cranberries (about 4 ounces), soaked in apple juice
4 teaspoons chopped fresh rosemary
2/3 cup chopped fresh parsley
3 eggs, beaten to blend

1 1/3 cups (about) canned low-salt chicken broth

Preheat oven to 350°F. Divide bread cubes between 2 large baking sheets. Bake until slightly dry, about 15 minutes. Cool completely.

Sauté sausages in heavy large skillet over medium-high heat until cooked through, crumbling coarsely with back of spoon, about 10 minutes. Using slotted spoon, transfer sausage to large bowl. Pour off any drippings from skillet. Melt butter in same skillet over medium-high heat. Add leeks, apples, celery and poultry seasoning to skillet; sauté until leeks soften, about 8 minutes. Mix in dried cranberries and rosemary. Add mixture to sausage, then mix in bread and parsley. Season stuffing to taste with salt and pepper. (Can be prepared 1 day ahead. Cover and refrigerate.) Mix eggs into stuffing.

To bake stuffing in pan:
Preheat oven to 350°F. Butter 15x10x2-inch baking dish. Mix 1 1/3 cups broth into stuffing. Transfer to prepared dish. Cover with buttered foil and bake until heated through, about 45 minutes. Uncover and bake until top is golden brown, about 15 minutes.

More epic fails

Wow. You know you're in a bad stretch when you turn potatoes into Elmer's glue instead of mashing them.

I am planning to lean on the cooks at Trader Joe's for a while. I admit it: Cooking got the best of me.